You Are Not Alone

September 17, 2010 by Ylena Parks, MA · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Christianity, Eating Disorders, Life 

Have you ever struggled with an issue and wondered if you were the only person on the planet to have ever struggled with such an issue? I would be surprised if that thought had NEVER crossed your mind; it’s crossed mine. But what I have come to realize through years of personal experience, counseling others and scripture is that we are not alone in our struggles and we certainly are not only the person on the planet to have experienced whatever issue – mental, emotional, physical or spiritual –we are struggling with right now.

We are told in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man…”. Temptation(s), or whatever issue you may be facing – substance abuse or addiction, an eating disorder, communication difficulties with your spouse, discord in the home, a prodigal child – is not new or unique to you (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10) but is common to human beings. We all, unfortunately, struggle.

And it is these struggles that the enemy, Satan, uses not only to separate us from God – through depression, anger, bitterness and many other negative feelings – but from one another. Satan uses the issues we face to isolate from one another and God; and then he uses that isolation – feeling alone in our issues – as a means to torment us. He does not want us to feel the comfort and healing of forgiveness or grace. He wants to distance us from anything that may bring us joy and keep us in misery by telling us that we are the only one experiencing this issue. And all the while we are falling further and further into the pit of despair and self-loathing because we think there must be something wrong with us if we are struggling.

But guess what, folks? We are not alone. According to Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Even Jesus, our High Priest, was tempted and struggled. He was victorious in that struggle and we can be too because “…God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13).”

There is hope. You are not alone. We all struggle through life and face issues that seem insurmountable or devastate us to our core. But God is present and through Him all things are possible (Mark 9:28, Mark 10:27, Matthew 19:26), including mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, physical healing. He loves you enough to provide that healing. Do you love yourself enough to receive His healing? It took me 10 years of struggling and misery before I was finally able to love myself – the unique creation in Christ than I am – enough to accept that healing. I pray it won’t take you as long. Begin the journey to healing now; it’s never too late.

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The Present

August 27, 2010 by Ylena Parks, MA · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Christianity, Life 

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to stay in the present and set your eyes upon Jesus?  Much of our time is spent looking behind at our past – “I wish I would have done …”, “I should have said …”, “What was I thinking…?” – or ahead to the future – “I wonder if he’s going to …”, “I wonder if I should plan …”, “What should I do if …?” instead of being present. We mediate on what was or what will be instead of focusing on what is now.  As a therapist I believe that much can be learned by examining the past and looking for patterns that resulted in our present condition.  I also believe in planning for the future in regards to our actions and behaviors in response to stressors.  However, the real work, that which is transformational and gets to the heart of the issue, is done in the present with Jesus as our guide.

Jesus is eternal which means be does not live in the past nor does He live in the future, He lives in both and, perhaps more importantly, He lives in the present – the here and now of our lives.  Scripture tells us that He is with us (Psalm 73:23, Colossians 2:5, Matthew 28:20) – not simply that He was with us or that He will be with us in the future.  He is with us now, at this present moment.  So if you are not in the present but are living in the past or looking to the future, you are missing the prime opportunity of being present with Jesus and sharing with Him where you are at during this moment.  What are you thinking?  What are you feeling?  What are you doing?  He is interested.  And while He knows your heart, He still is eager for you to share it with Him.  By doing so you have asked Him to enter into your life with you; to join you in your daily struggles.

We are a culmination of our life experiences so dealing with the present is in all actuality dealing with the past since you, presently, are coping with the results of past experiences.  And by being in the present you are, in fact, planning for the future since the work He is doing in your heart right now will shape the future that lies ahead. Being in the present is challenging and sometimes scary because it can mean focusing on the painful, sad and hurtful things that lie before us.  But do not fear (Psalm 27:1), for Jesus is with you and He wishes to heal you (Hebrews 4:15, Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28).  While what you’re facing in the present may seem and feel monumental, nothing is too big or too bad for Jesus (Luke 1:37).  So cradle yourself in the comfort of His arms and let His peace, which passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7), wash over you in this present moment.  Let the healing begin now.

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  • Meet Ylena

    Ylena Parks, a native Californian, is married to a godly man and has two beautiful step-children. She has a Master's in Community/Clinical Counseling from Eastern University and presently works as an MFT Intern at OC Chrisitan Counseling in Garden Grove, CA.

    Ylena came to Christ at Calvary Chapel-Monterey Bay in 2001. It is through Christ's work in her that she conquered a 10-year battle with Anorexia, a disorder which consumed her 20s and led her along a path of self-destruction ... and eventually into the arms of Christ.

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