Darkest before the Light

’. . . and all things that are written by the prophets concerning the Son of Man will be accomplished.’ . . . But they understood none of these things . . . —Luke 18:31, 34

Are you picking safe people?

Here’s a great article by Dr. Henry Cloud.

Have you ever wondered why some relationships seem to lead to growth and happiness and others to pain and injury? Have you ever had the experience of meeting someone, finding them attractive and charming, trusting them in some way, and then later were hurt very badly by them? Or, worse than that, have you done that more than once with the same kind of person? [Read the full article now.]

3 Steps on the Journey Toward Healing

Have you become trapped in a negative cycle of behavior or thinking?  One that while it makes you unhappy and wreaks havoc on your self-esteem also compels you to continue in the cycle.  It’s your own personal Catch-22 and regardless of how miserable it makes you, you feel helpless to fight it or correct it.  You may think, “What’s the use of trying?” or, worse yet, you may actually believe the condemning little “voice” in your head that tells you that you “have to do it” or you’re correct to think that way of yourself.

If this is you, then I have good news for you. There is a cure. You don’t have to suffer needlessly or endlessly. But you do have to want to change.  The journey will require perseverance and work but the reward will be so rich that you will wonder, in the end, why you waited so long to begin the journey.

The first step in the journey is recognizing that you have a problem (i.e. your negative thoughts and/or behaviors). As the saying goes, denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. Until you recognize that your behaviors and/or thoughts aren’t benefiting you, then there will be no reason to change. So be open and honest with yourself.  Don’t believe the lie that there’s no hope.  There is hope.

The second step on the journey is recognizing that even though you have a problem that does not mean that you are a problem.  This thought alone can keep you trapped in the negative cycle. Let me say it again, even though you have a problem that does not mean that you are a problem. You are a beautiful and wonderful creation of God. Having a problem(s) (i.e. being imperfect) does not make you bad. Remember, “God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). That includes you. You are good.  You’re just imperfect like the rest of us.

The third step on the journey is giving yourself the gift of grace. Grace allows you the room to work through your issues lovingly, without the beast of condemnation squashing your hope. So many times we stay in a negative cycle of behavior and thought because we feel condemned and believe that we deserve a life of suffering. Not true. Christ came to give us life and give it more abundantly.  He wants you to live and experience the peace that surpasses understanding (Phillipians 4:7).

So come and partake of the peace.  The journey begins now.

Living in a cage

The following is a story I hold dear to my heart. It was told to me by a missionary who had returned from Africa, where she had heard a version (I have taken creative liberties) of this story told by a local.

Deep in the heart of an African jungle there sat a caged tiger. The tiger, a beautiful, strong creature, had been lured into the cage by a tantalizing piece of meat. Just as the tiger was savoring his first bite of meat, the cage door slammed closed behind him. Shocked and panicked, the tiger lunged at the door trying to push it open, desperate for escape. But the bars of the cage were too strong and despite the tiger’s best efforts there was no escape. So the tiger, feeling defeated, curled up on the cage floor and, after savoring the last of the juicy piece of meat, fell asleep.

The next morning the tiger awoke to sunshine breaking through the canopy of the jungle and the sounds of birds singing. Through the bars he watched monkeys swing in the trees and a line of ants busily carrying food back to their hill. The jungle was so alive and he longed to be part of the activity. But try as he might, there was no escape from the cage. So the tiger rested on the cold, hard steel floor of the cage, hungry for more juicy meat and longing to be free.

Just then a tribesman came along and saw the caged tiger. Having compassion on the tiger, the tribesman examined the cage to see if there was a way to free the tiger without putting himself in harms way. Not finding a way, he decided that the best he could do was to feed the tiger. So he tossed a piece of fresh game into the cage and went on his way. The tiger was very thankful for the meat, devouring it immediately, but still sad that he was not free to enjoy the jungle and the company of his pride.

The day passed, the night fell, and a new day dawned all the while the tiger was still locked in the cold, hard steel cage. While a new day brought the tiger hope of being released, it also brought with it fear that this may be his “home” for quite some time. Just then the tribesman from the day prior appeared. He again had compassion on the tiger and tried to open the cage but to no avail. So, as he had done the day prior, he tossed in a piece of fresh game he had caught earlier in the day. The tiger, while still feeling saddened by his captivity, was gladdened by the visitor, although he preferred the company of his pride, and was thankful for the tasty morsel although he would have preferred to have caught something fresher himself. Never the less, he found himself grateful for what he was given and a little more comfortable in the cold, hard steel cage.

This pattern transpired for days, weeks, and months. And with each passing day the tiger, no longer strong, due to inactivity, or beautiful, due to a poor diet, became more and more comfortable in the cold, hard steel cage. In fact, he even began to forget what life was like outside of the cage. He saw the beauty of the surrounding jungle and enjoyed watching the wildlife at play, but he was comfortable and safe in the cold, hard steel cage. Sure he didn’t get to enjoy playing with the pride and hunting down fresh game, but he was fed so should he really want more? He reasoned that it was best not to want more, lest he be disappointed.

Eventually, after months and years of living in the cold, hard steel cage, the tiger lost any hope that he would ever be released from the cage and resigned himself to existence in the cage. After all, he had been in the cage so long surely this is where he was supposed to live. He didn’t like it, but he decided to accept it anyway.

It was then that by some miracle, or perhaps the wear and tear of the jungle rains on the metal hinges, the cage door fell open. Astonished, the tiger hardly knew what to do. He had never expected this to happen. After looking at the open door for a couple of moments, the tiger decided to venture out into the jungle beyond. Slowly, he took two steps out of the cold, hard steel cage onto the warm, soft soil of the jungle floor.  What used to feel so familiar to him now felt so foreign and a little bit frightening. It was as if this was the first time he had walked in this jungle. And while for months and years he had watched the activity in the jungle with a bit of envy in his heart, now the activity seemed a bit overwhelming. What had once been so familiar – the life, the feel, the smell of the jungle – was now so foreign and frightening. The tiger quickly retreated back into the safety of the cage. But now after having felt the warmth and softness of the jungle floor, the cold, hard steel cage didn’t feel quite as comfortable as it had before.

The tiger sat uncomfortably in the cage for a few minutes before deciding, once again, to venture out of the cage. First he stepped one paw out of the cage, then another and another and another until all four paws were out of the cage and he was standing on the warm, soft soil of the jungle floor. Just then a monkey came swinging by in the tree branches as a bird began singing out to its friends.  Surprised by the sounds and activity the tiger again retreated to the cage.

Frustrated and dismayed, the tiger knew that what he really wanted was to be free of the cage so that he could roam and explore the jungle, join his pride and once again become part of the life and activity of the jungle. Yet, at the same time, he was afraid of what he might encounter in the jungle. In his cage he always knew what to expect – cold, hard steel accompanied by a piece of fresh game from the tribesman. Out in the jungle anything could happen. He remembered many good things had happened when he had been out in the jungle before such as playing with the pride, hunting down fresh game, and lying in the warmth of the sun. However, there had been some bad things that happened too, the worst of which – famine – had resulted in his seeking food in the jungle and ultimately getting trapped in the cage. “What should I do?” the tiger wondered.

Just then another tiger – strong and healthy – emerged from the jungle. The tiger approached the cage and inquired of the weaker tiger why he remained in the cage when the door was wide open. The weaker tiger replied, “I want to leave this cage, to experience the jungle once again, but I have been in this cage for so long I am afraid I no longer know how to live free in the jungle.” The strong, healthy tiger, with much compassion, replied, “Come with me and I will show you how.” And so with trepidation the weaker tiger exited the cage into the companionship of the strong, healthy tiger. And together they ventured out into the jungle.

The strong, healthy tiger stayed alongside the weaker tiger for days, weeks, and months until the weaker tiger learned once again how to live in freedom and became the strong, beautiful tiger he had been before captivity. It was only then that the strong, healthy tiger departed his company and left the strong, beautiful tiger to enjoy the life he had dreamed of now that he was free of the cold, hard steel cage.

Like the caged tiger, there are many of us that become comfortable or resigned to our “cold, hard steel cages” of addiction, depression, eating disorders, pornography or promiscuity. Having been trapped in the cage for so long, we begin to forget that there is any other way to live. And whenever we do experience anything different, perhaps even healthier, we shrink away from it because we fear the unknown. But there is hope in that which is stronger than us – Jesus Christ (1 Chronicles 10:22, Titus 2:11-14). He can open the cage door and set you free (John 8:36). Faith in His strength and desire to lead you out of the cage and into the beautiful jungle – the glorious life He desires for you – is all that is required.

Timing is Everything

Luke 18:31-34 Then He took the twelve aside and said to them “Behold we are going up to Jerusalem and all things that are written by the prophets concerning the Son of Man will be accomplished. “For He will be delivered to the Gentiles and will be mocked and insulted and spit upon. “They will scourge Him and kill Him. And the third day He will rise again.” But they understood none of these things; this saying was hidden from them and they did not know the things which were spoken.

Upon reading this passage one might wonder why Jesus told the disciples what was to transpire in Jerusalem yet, at the same time, the understanding of what He said was hidden from them (v34).  Why tell someone something if the understanding is to be hidden from him or her?  Where is the sense in that?  Well, sharing this information with the disciples while keeping the understanding hidden served multiple purposes including the following: (1) The disciples’ and our edification and understanding at a later date (1 Peter 1:12); (2) as a testimony of Christ’s omniscience and, therefore, confirmation of His deity; (3) it was important information for the disciples to hear but the time was not right for them to understand it.  It’s the third reason that prompts me to write.

As a counselor, I have encountered many Christians who while knowing the truth – the Word of God – have yet to fully understand it in the context of their life.   Why?  Because just as the disciples heard but did not understand, we too can have heard the truth but have yet to understand what it means for us on a personal level.  I do not believe this is a conscience choice.  Who among us would deny an answer and a deeper understanding if given the opportunity?  This lack of understanding – or hidden meaning – is by the will of God.  Only He knows when the time will be right for you to understand the truth.  And it is at that time that He will reveal it.

Just as it was not the disciples’ time to understand all that Christ had shared with them, it is often not the perfect timing in our life for us to understand what God has spoken to us but perhaps has not revealed to our heart.  When the timing is right, that is when the truth is revealed and we have what, in counseling, we like to call the “aha!” moment – the moment when an understanding of the issue becomes suddenly clear and nearly obvious. Often it’s at these times that one wonders, “How did I not see this before when the answer was right in front of me and I have been looking at it the entire time?”  S/he did not see it because s/he was not ready to see it.  Their heart was not in the proper place to be able to understand and accept the truth.  But once God has conformed your heart to His and prepared you for understanding He can then reveal the truth.

Perhaps you have experienced this in your life or in relationship to a person you have walked along side of during a particular trial or struggle.  Perhaps it was a family member struggling with alcohol abuse and you wondered, “Why can’t s/he see how much damage they are doing to themselves and their family?”  Or maybe it was a friend who was in a bad or abusive relationship and you wondered, “Why can’t she see how horrible he is? Why doesn’t she understand that she deserves better?” I am fairly certain that each of us has experienced a time in our life when we either wondered why it took us so long to understand a truth or why a friend, loved one or co-worker couldn’t see the truth.  In fact, it can be very frustrating as an observer to watch someone struggle when the answer seems so obvious yet they don’t seem to understand.

Perhaps you can find comfort in knowing that if you or s/he does not understand the truth that seems so obvious that the timing, according to God, may not be right for that truth to be revealed.  Remember, God is the Creator of the universe and nothing occurs without His knowledge and allowance.  If He wants us to understand a truth it is within His purview to draw open the curtains and let the light shine in the darkness.  So it is by His design that not all is revealed at once.  In our humanity we are only capable of understanding the truth one piece at a time.  I believe our cognitive, emotional and spiritual abilities in their less than perfect and impaired state, thanks to the fall of man, would be overwhelmed if all were to be revealed at once.  So God reveals the truth to us pieces at a time, as we are ready to digest and understand the truth.

So the next time you or someone you know is struggling with an issue, have patience with yourself and them.  God will reveal the truth – the answer – in the appropriate time.  Until then, join God in the work of preparing their heart for that truth by supporting their mental, emotional and spiritual health through love, kindness, grace, prayer and always directing them to the Word of God for edification and growth.  And in cases of deep distress or when their physical well-being is in jeopardy, refer them to a Pastor or professional counselor so that they can get the guidance and support necessary to be safe.

A Few Good Men (or Women)

1 Samuel 14:6 “…it may be that God will work for us.  For nothing restrains the Lord from saving by many or by few.”

For those who are not familiar with this passage, allow me set the stage.  Picture it – the Israelites are at the mercy of the Philistines.  The odds are stacked against them and they are outnumbered.  While Saul, the King, sits beneath a pomegranate tree in the outskirts of Gibeah with 600 of his men, including the High Priest, his son Jonathan and his armor bearer sneak over to the Philistine garrison (1 Samuel 14:1-5) with the intent to seize the garrison.  Crazy, right?  Two men against hundreds; what were Jonathan and his armor bearer thinking?  They were thinking “… For nothing restrains the Lord from saving by many or by few”(1 Samuel 14:6).

Just like Jonathan and his armor bearer we too are confronted by similar “garrisons” in our life.  They are the daunting situations, events or people that disturb our mental, emotional or physical well-being and impede our ability to be free from anger, resentment, frustration, and unhappiness.   In the shadow of these “garrisons” we stand, perhaps feeling insignificant and perhaps even without any hope that victory can be ours.  Have you been there or are you there right now?  If so, please take heart and have hope because your “story” can end just as it did for Jonathan and his armor bearer – in victory.

In part two of our story, Jonathan and his armor bearer, motivated by the thought in 1 Samuel 14:6, enter the Philistine garrison and begin a battle that they ultimately win.  The key word being “begin” for, you see, it was the noise and commotion that Jonathan and his armor bearer created that drew the attention of Saul who then sent in reinforcements (1 Samuel 14:23), which ultimately led to victory over the Philistines.  So what Jonathan and his armor bearer started, despite any fear or trepidation they may have had, God completed through Saul’s army.

The “garrisons” in your life may seem overwhelming and impossible to conquer but, in reality, they are not impenetrable when you have hope and God on your side.  They are, however, impenetrable if you never scale the garrison walls to battle the darkness lurking on the other side.  Whether we like it or not (and we don’t like it), battles are not won in the comfort of our home (a.k.a. denial) but on the battlefield (a.k.a. awareness).  If we do not enter the battlefield to “fight” the anger, resentment, frustration, and unhappiness then there is little hope of victory.  However, if we take the first step as Jonathan and his armor bearer did, and scale that wall to fight the darkness that lies behind it, God can deliver victory … but only if you trust Him enough to believe “… For nothing restrains the Lord from saving by many or by few”(1 Samuel 14:6).

You Are Not Alone

Have you ever struggled with an issue and wondered if you were the only person on the planet to have ever struggled with such an issue? I would be surprised if that thought had NEVER crossed your mind; it’s crossed mine. But what I have come to realize through years of personal experience, counseling others and scripture is that we are not alone in our struggles and we certainly are not only the person on the planet to have experienced whatever issue – mental, emotional, physical or spiritual –we are struggling with right now.

We are told in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man…”. Temptation(s), or whatever issue you may be facing – substance abuse or addiction, an eating disorder, communication difficulties with your spouse, discord in the home, a prodigal child – is not new or unique to you (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10) but is common to human beings. We all, unfortunately, struggle.

And it is these struggles that the enemy, Satan, uses not only to separate us from God – through depression, anger, bitterness and many other negative feelings – but from one another. Satan uses the issues we face to isolate from one another and God; and then he uses that isolation – feeling alone in our issues – as a means to torment us. He does not want us to feel the comfort and healing of forgiveness or grace. He wants to distance us from anything that may bring us joy and keep us in misery by telling us that we are the only one experiencing this issue. And all the while we are falling further and further into the pit of despair and self-loathing because we think there must be something wrong with us if we are struggling.

But guess what, folks? We are not alone. According to Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Even Jesus, our High Priest, was tempted and struggled. He was victorious in that struggle and we can be too because “…God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13).”

There is hope. You are not alone. We all struggle through life and face issues that seem insurmountable or devastate us to our core. But God is present and through Him all things are possible (Mark 9:28, Mark 10:27, Matthew 19:26), including mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, physical healing. He loves you enough to provide that healing. Do you love yourself enough to receive His healing? It took me 10 years of struggling and misery before I was finally able to love myself – the unique creation in Christ than I am – enough to accept that healing. I pray it won’t take you as long. Begin the journey to healing now; it’s never too late.

The Present

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to stay in the present and set your eyes upon Jesus?  Much of our time is spent looking behind at our past – “I wish I would have done …”, “I should have said …”, “What was I thinking…?” – or ahead to the future – “I wonder if he’s going to …”, “I wonder if I should plan …”, “What should I do if …?” instead of being present. We mediate on what was or what will be instead of focusing on what is now.  As a therapist I believe that much can be learned by examining the past and looking for patterns that resulted in our present condition.  I also believe in planning for the future in regards to our actions and behaviors in response to stressors.  However, the real work, that which is transformational and gets to the heart of the issue, is done in the present with Jesus as our guide.

Jesus is eternal which means be does not live in the past nor does He live in the future, He lives in both and, perhaps more importantly, He lives in the present – the here and now of our lives.  Scripture tells us that He is with us (Psalm 73:23, Colossians 2:5, Matthew 28:20) – not simply that He was with us or that He will be with us in the future.  He is with us now, at this present moment.  So if you are not in the present but are living in the past or looking to the future, you are missing the prime opportunity of being present with Jesus and sharing with Him where you are at during this moment.  What are you thinking?  What are you feeling?  What are you doing?  He is interested.  And while He knows your heart, He still is eager for you to share it with Him.  By doing so you have asked Him to enter into your life with you; to join you in your daily struggles.

We are a culmination of our life experiences so dealing with the present is in all actuality dealing with the past since you, presently, are coping with the results of past experiences.  And by being in the present you are, in fact, planning for the future since the work He is doing in your heart right now will shape the future that lies ahead. Being in the present is challenging and sometimes scary because it can mean focusing on the painful, sad and hurtful things that lie before us.  But do not fear (Psalm 27:1), for Jesus is with you and He wishes to heal you (Hebrews 4:15, Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28).  While what you’re facing in the present may seem and feel monumental, nothing is too big or too bad for Jesus (Luke 1:37).  So cradle yourself in the comfort of His arms and let His peace, which passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7), wash over you in this present moment.  Let the healing begin now.

Healed by Faith

“What do you want Me to do for you?” He said, “Lord, that I may receive my sight.” Then Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has made you well.” ~ Luke 18:41

Have you ever wondered why, despite your being aware of a particular issue you may have in your life, you have not been able to resolve the issue? You have identified the fact that you drink too much, eat too much or too little, have marital issues or a prodigal child, yet recognizing and being aware of the problem have done nothing to help you solve the problem. Perhaps you’ve gone to the self-help section of the bookstore or discussed the problem at length with a friend or even attended a recovery group but to no avail. Perhaps you’ve thought to yourself, “I’m trying so hard to work through this problem and fix it yet nothing seems to help. What more can I do?” The answer lies in the scripture above.

When nothing else works we must pray and have faith. It was not an advanced surgery or holistic healing that gave the blind man sight it was (1) he asked Jesus for healing and (2) he had faith that Jesus would heal. Often times we get so caught up in all of the worldly solutions to problems that we forget the most important, integral and essential solution available to everyone on this mud ball called earth – PRAYER. Ask the Lord for healing in prayer. He knows far more about you and your issue than any psychologist on Oprah or than can be found at the bottom of a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream or a bottle of Vodka. Seek Him and He will reveal the answer.

The caveat is that you must also have FAITH that He will provide the answer and the healing. It was not simply the request made by the blind man that healed him. Jesus tells us that it was His faith. We must have faith that God will deliver and that He will heals us in order for the healing to occur.

We must also remember that all things occur in God’s timing (see blog titled “Aha moments” for further discussion). While we are not given the blind man’s age in this scripture, I believe it safe to assume that this was not a situation he had only been suffering from for a short period of time. After all, he is at point in his life when he has become so desperate that he ignores the crowds requests for him to be quiet and instead cries out, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” (v38). Often times we too must be at our wits end before we will turn to God and cry out, asking Him to have mercy on us. And until we come to that point, no matter what truth God has revealed, we do not lean on our faith for healing but instead rely on our own efforts. Faith in God heals. Not man or any of his best efforts. This is not to say that seeking support and guidance from man – a Pastor or professional counselor – cannot be of great benefit to you during your struggles. It can and I would recommend it. However, the ultimate healing comes from God by faith.

So if you are struggling, if you are lost in a quagmire and you don’t know what to do next, there are two things I recommend – prayer and faith. And if you are not at a point in your life where you feel mentally, emotionally or spiritually strong enough to do this on our own and you need help getting your footing, seek professional help either from a Pastor or a Christian counselor. While neither can give you faith, both can support you as Christ has called us to do for fellow believers (Hebrews 3:13) until you are strong enough to kneel in prayer or walk to the foot of the throne on your own.

Dawning of a New Day

The clouds have begun to lift and a rainbow - the reminder of the new covenent between God and His people – is beginning to appear in the sky, faint but ever present.  While Satan seeks to kill and destroy, to rain on the believers parade and to draw them down into the abyss in which he himself will spend eternity after the final judgement has been dealt, God is victorious and will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able but with every temptation will provide the way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13).

I have read this passage many times but it was not until recently that the word “the” leaped from the page.  God does not simply promise to provide “a” way of escape but “the” way of escape.  He knows the trials and tribulations we will face and He in His omniscience also knows the perfect way of escape – the way.  It brings to mind John 14:6 when Jesus states “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”  Jesus is the way, not “a” way.  So perhaps while we have been searching every nook and cranny, every self help book in Borders and in every psychotherapists office for the answer – “the way of escape” - it has been right in front of us all the time – Jesus.

It all comes full circle back to Jesus.  He is the answer we seek and in Him all answers are found.  All we are in need of is salvation from sin; and once sin is removed the bonds are broken and we are released into the life which God originally planned for us in the Garden of Eden.  Jesus is the way to salvation.  Jesus is “the way” of escape.  The veil has been torn (Matthew 27:51, Marke 15:38, Luke 23:45)and we are free to enter into the throne room of God through the blood of Christ.  Can I get an Amen! and a Hallelujah!  and a Praise God!

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• Meet Ylena

  Ylena Parks, a native Californian, is married to a godly man and has two beautiful step-children. She has a Master's in Community/Clinical Counseling from Eastern University and presently works as an MFT Intern at OC Chrisitan Counseling in Garden Grove, CA.

  Ylena came to Christ at Calvary Chapel-Monterey Bay in 2001. It is through Christ's work in her that she conquered a 10-year battle with Anorexia, a disorder which consumed her 20s and led her along a path of self-destruction ... and eventually into the arms of Christ.

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• Christian Psychology News

  • Tim Tebow and Living for God January 31, 2012
    by Dr. Curtis Lehmann Unless you have been living in a cave, you have probably heard about Tim Tebow, quarterback for the Denver Broncos. He has been a polarizing figure because of his forthcoming and conspicuous admission of his faith in Jesus Christ. Some have complimented his public displays of faith, while others, even Christians, […]
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  • The Romance of Dance January 30, 2012
    by Dr. Debi Smith The image of a man and a woman dancing together in three-quarter time is the best metaphor for (and experience of) a romantic relationship as it should be. More specifically, a couple dance provides much of the information we need in order to understand what makes a romantic relationship work well. […]
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  • Intimacy in Marriage: The Role of Sex January 24, 2012
    by Dr. Curtis Lehmann Some people struggle with a philosophical question: what is the role of sex in marriage? Historically, sex has been seen as simply the means for procreation and building a family. But in a modern context where contraception is used to prevent procreation, we have to ask whether sex serves another function. […]
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  • Three Things Men Need from Women January 16, 2012
    by Dr. Debi Smith He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. ~ Proverbs 18:22 Men always say they are simple, and I always argue that they’re not. What makes men complicated – at least in part – is that they never ask for what they need. Well, […]
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  • Intimacy in Marriage: What’s Your Sexual Type? January 12, 2012
    by Dr. Curtis Lehmann Sexual intimacy in marriage is an important component in developing a secure relationship bond between a man and a woman. But there are a number of ways that sexuality can go wrong in a marriage. In general, people can go in two directions: sexual compulsion and sexual restriction. Sexual compulsion simply […]
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  • Slaves to Porn January 6, 2012
    Internet porn has become an epidemic that has taken hold of Christian and non-Christian alike. In this informative presentation designed to be helpful for those who know someone who struggles with pornography, as well as those who themselves struggle, Dr. Curtis Lehmann addresses how people become enslaved to pornography and offers real suggestions about how […]
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  • Being Present December 7, 2011
    by Dr. Curtis Lehmann Have you been spending your day rushing from one thing to another? Sometimes we tend to fly through life so quickly that we hardly notice we are missing wonderful things. In the next few days, I would like to lead you in a few meditations meant to help you reawaken your […]
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  • Save $40 on “He Said, She Said” CE Workshop November 29, 2011
    January 20, 2012 (Friday) He Said, She Said: An Integrative Model for Couple Therapy Psychologists or BBS: 6 CE Credits* Presenter: Debi Smith, PsyD, PSY21711 Time: 9 am – 4 pm Location: Newsong Church, Irvine Cost: $145 + $25 CE Fee Note: Register by December 1, save $40 Target Audience: Couples Counselors Skill Level: Intermediate, […]
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  • Newlyweds and Nearly-weds … November 29, 2011
    What if you could start your new life together with more answers than questions? Your marriage is one of the most important and satisfying relationships you’ll ever have. And like any quality relationship, to get a lot out of it, you have to put a lot into it. A successful marriage takes an investment of […]
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  • OC Christian Counseling Welcomes Dr. Curtis Lehmann November 16, 2011
    Dr. Curtis Lehmann PA #PSB36422 Garden Grove Office 800.705.6223, Ext. 102 Do you ever feel like your life is a mess? You yell at your kids. You seethe in anger about how you were skipped for a promotion. You stay up late looking at porn. Or perhaps you just get so fixated on television that […]
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