Freedom (Happy 4th of July!)

If you are an American you most likely attribute the liberties we enjoy in the United States to the nation’s founding fathers and the Declaration of Independence, which was signed on July 4, 1776. However, credit should be given where credit is due and, truth me known, our freedom comes not from mortal men but from the original Founding Father – God the Father. It is through Jesus Christ that we can truly be set free – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The the following scriptures (ESV) attest as much:

Galations 5:1 For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

1 Peter 2:16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.

2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

If you are presently living under the yoke of bondage to addiction, co-dependency, depression, anger, bitterness, fear, eating disorder, or anxiety, know that you can be set free. There is hope for you as stated in Romans 8:21 “… the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.” Today, this day of independence, choose to be free. Choose health and wholeness. It’s only a prayer away.

Living in a cage

March 9, 2011 by Ylena Parks, MA · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Eating Disorders, Healing, Life 

Marguerite Malwitz, Untitled Collage, 2005, www.MargeMalwitz.com

The following is a story I hold dear to my heart. It was told to me by a missionary who had returned from Africa, where she had heard a version (I have taken creative liberties) of this story told by a local.

Deep in the heart of an African jungle there sat a caged tiger. The tiger, a beautiful, strong creature, had been lured into the cage by a tantalizing piece of meat. Just as the tiger was savoring his first bite of meat, the cage door slammed closed behind him. Shocked and panicked, the tiger lunged at the door trying to push it open, desperate for escape. But the bars of the cage were too strong and despite the tiger’s best efforts there was no escape. So the tiger, feeling defeated, curled up on the cage floor and, after savoring the last of the juicy piece of meat, fell asleep.

The next morning the tiger awoke to sunshine breaking through the canopy of the jungle and the sounds of birds singing. Through the bars he watched monkeys swing in the trees and a line of ants busily carrying food back to their hill. The jungle was so alive and he longed to be part of the activity. But try as he might, there was no escape from the cage. So the tiger rested on the cold, hard steel floor of the cage, hungry for more juicy meat and longing to be free.

Just then a tribesman came along and saw the caged tiger. Having compassion on the tiger, the tribesman examined the cage to see if there was a way to free the tiger without putting himself in harms way. Not finding a way, he decided that the best he could do was to feed the tiger. So he tossed a piece of fresh game into the cage and went on his way. The tiger was very thankful for the meat, devouring it immediately, but still sad that he was not free to enjoy the jungle and the company of his pride.

The day passed, the night fell, and a new day dawned all the while the tiger was still locked in the cold, hard steel cage. While a new day brought the tiger hope of being released, it also brought with it fear that this may be his “home” for quite some time. Just then the tribesman from the day prior appeared. He again had compassion on the tiger and tried to open the cage but to no avail. So, as he had done the day prior, he tossed in a piece of fresh game he had caught earlier in the day. The tiger, while still feeling saddened by his captivity, was gladdened by the visitor, although he preferred the company of his pride, and was thankful for the tasty morsel although he would have preferred to have caught something fresher himself. Never the less, he found himself grateful for what he was given and a little more comfortable in the cold, hard steel cage.

This pattern transpired for days, weeks, and months. And with each passing day the tiger, no longer strong, due to inactivity, or beautiful, due to a poor diet, became more and more comfortable in the cold, hard steel cage. In fact, he even began to forget what life was like outside of the cage. He saw the beauty of the surrounding jungle and enjoyed watching the wildlife at play, but he was comfortable and safe in the cold, hard steel cage. Sure he didn’t get to enjoy playing with the pride and hunting down fresh game, but he was fed so should he really want more? He reasoned that it was best not to want more, lest he be disappointed.

Eventually, after months and years of living in the cold, hard steel cage, the tiger lost any hope that he would ever be released from the cage and resigned himself to existence in the cage. After all, he had been in the cage so long surely this is where he was supposed to live. He didn’t like it, but he decided to accept it anyway.

It was then that by some miracle, or perhaps the wear and tear of the jungle rains on the metal hinges, the cage door fell open. Astonished, the tiger hardly knew what to do. He had never expected this to happen. After looking at the open door for a couple of moments, the tiger decided to venture out into the jungle beyond. Slowly, he took two steps out of the cold, hard steel cage onto the warm, soft soil of the jungle floor.  What used to feel so familiar to him now felt so foreign and a little bit frightening. It was as if this was the first time he had walked in this jungle. And while for months and years he had watched the activity in the jungle with a bit of envy in his heart, now the activity seemed a bit overwhelming. What had once been so familiar – the life, the feel, the smell of the jungle – was now so foreign and frightening. The tiger quickly retreated back into the safety of the cage. But now after having felt the warmth and softness of the jungle floor, the cold, hard steel cage didn’t feel quite as comfortable as it had before.

The tiger sat uncomfortably in the cage for a few minutes before deciding, once again, to venture out of the cage. First he stepped one paw out of the cage, then another and another and another until all four paws were out of the cage and he was standing on the warm, soft soil of the jungle floor. Just then a monkey came swinging by in the tree branches as a bird began singing out to its friends.  Surprised by the sounds and activity the tiger again retreated to the cage.

Frustrated and dismayed, the tiger knew that what he really wanted was to be free of the cage so that he could roam and explore the jungle, join his pride and once again become part of the life and activity of the jungle. Yet, at the same time, he was afraid of what he might encounter in the jungle. In his cage he always knew what to expect – cold, hard steel accompanied by a piece of fresh game from the tribesman. Out in the jungle anything could happen. He remembered many good things had happened when he had been out in the jungle before such as playing with the pride, hunting down fresh game, and lying in the warmth of the sun. However, there had been some bad things that happened too, the worst of which – famine – had resulted in his seeking food in the jungle and ultimately getting trapped in the cage. “What should I do?” the tiger wondered.

Just then another tiger – strong and healthy – emerged from the jungle. The tiger approached the cage and inquired of the weaker tiger why he remained in the cage when the door was wide open. The weaker tiger replied, “I want to leave this cage, to experience the jungle once again, but I have been in this cage for so long I am afraid I no longer know how to live free in the jungle.” The strong, healthy tiger, with much compassion, replied, “Come with me and I will show you how.” And so with trepidation the weaker tiger exited the cage into the companionship of the strong, healthy tiger. And together they ventured out into the jungle.

The strong, healthy tiger stayed alongside the weaker tiger for days, weeks, and months until the weaker tiger learned once again how to live in freedom and became the strong, beautiful tiger he had been before captivity. It was only then that the strong, healthy tiger departed his company and left the strong, beautiful tiger to enjoy the life he had dreamed of now that he was free of the cold, hard steel cage.

Like the caged tiger, there are many of us that become comfortable or resigned to our “cold, hard steel cages” of addiction, depression, eating disorders, pornography or promiscuity. Having been trapped in the cage for so long, we begin to forget that there is any other way to live. And whenever we do experience anything different, perhaps even healthier, we shrink away from it because we fear the unknown. But there is hope in that which is stronger than us – Jesus Christ (1 Chronicles 10:22, Titus 2:11-14). He can open the cage door and set you free (John 8:36). Faith in His strength and desire to lead you out of the cage and into the beautiful jungle – the glorious life He desires for you – is all that is required.

You Are Not Alone

September 17, 2010 by Ylena Parks, MA · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Christianity, Eating Disorders, Life 

Have you ever struggled with an issue and wondered if you were the only person on the planet to have ever struggled with such an issue? I would be surprised if that thought had NEVER crossed your mind; it’s crossed mine. But what I have come to realize through years of personal experience, counseling others and scripture is that we are not alone in our struggles and we certainly are not only the person on the planet to have experienced whatever issue – mental, emotional, physical or spiritual –we are struggling with right now.

We are told in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man…”. Temptation(s), or whatever issue you may be facing – substance abuse or addiction, an eating disorder, communication difficulties with your spouse, discord in the home, a prodigal child – is not new or unique to you (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10) but is common to human beings. We all, unfortunately, struggle.

And it is these struggles that the enemy, Satan, uses not only to separate us from God – through depression, anger, bitterness and many other negative feelings – but from one another. Satan uses the issues we face to isolate from one another and God; and then he uses that isolation – feeling alone in our issues – as a means to torment us. He does not want us to feel the comfort and healing of forgiveness or grace. He wants to distance us from anything that may bring us joy and keep us in misery by telling us that we are the only one experiencing this issue. And all the while we are falling further and further into the pit of despair and self-loathing because we think there must be something wrong with us if we are struggling.

But guess what, folks? We are not alone. According to Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Even Jesus, our High Priest, was tempted and struggled. He was victorious in that struggle and we can be too because “…God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13).”

There is hope. You are not alone. We all struggle through life and face issues that seem insurmountable or devastate us to our core. But God is present and through Him all things are possible (Mark 9:28, Mark 10:27, Matthew 19:26), including mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, physical healing. He loves you enough to provide that healing. Do you love yourself enough to receive His healing? It took me 10 years of struggling and misery before I was finally able to love myself – the unique creation in Christ than I am – enough to accept that healing. I pray it won’t take you as long. Begin the journey to healing now; it’s never too late.

It’s Not About the Food

June 9, 2010 by Ylena Parks, MA · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Eating Disorders, Healing 

It’s about control. It’s about protection. It’s about emptiness. It’s not about the food, but about controlling our lives through our food. It’s about controlling out emotions through food. It’s about protecting our hearts and souls from painful emotions. It’s about not knowing how to fix a problem and using the only tool you could find at the time that worked – food. Liberation comes for the girl with the eating disorder when she realizes it’s not about the food, and food is not the solution.

If food were the solution, she wouldn’t still feel sad, afraid, empty, and alone. The solution can only be found when the girl with the eating disorder is ready to face her fears and call Satan on his lie by telling him “It’s not about the food.” I know, and I’m here to help. Just give me a call.

  • Meet Ylena

    Ylena Parks, a native Californian, is married to a godly man and has two beautiful step-children. She has a Master's in Community/Clinical Counseling from Eastern University and presently works as an MFT Intern at OC Chrisitan Counseling in Garden Grove, CA.

    Ylena came to Christ at Calvary Chapel-Monterey Bay in 2001. It is through Christ's work in her that she conquered a 10-year battle with Anorexia, a disorder which consumed her 20s and led her along a path of self-destruction ... and eventually into the arms of Christ.

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