Are you picking safe people?

April 27, 2011 by Ylena Parks, MA · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Healing, Life 

Here’s a great article by Dr. Henry Cloud.

Have you ever wondered why some relationships seem to lead to growth and happiness and others to pain and injury? Have you ever had the experience of meeting someone, finding them attractive and charming, trusting them in some way, and then later were hurt very badly by them? Or, worse than that, have you done that more than once with the same kind of person? [Read the full article now.]

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3 Steps on the Journey Toward Healing

April 21, 2011 by Ylena Parks, MA · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Healing, Life 

Have you become trapped in a negative cycle of behavior or thinking?  One that while it makes you unhappy and wreaks havoc on your self-esteem also compels you to continue in the cycle.  It’s your own personal Catch-22 and regardless of how miserable it makes you, you feel helpless to fight it or correct it.  You may think, “What’s the use of trying?” or, worse yet, you may actually believe the condemning little “voice” in your head that tells you that you “have to do it” or you’re correct to think that way of yourself.

If this is you, then I have good news for you. There is a cure. You don’t have to suffer needlessly or endlessly. But you do have to want to change.  The journey will require perseverance and work but the reward will be so rich that you will wonder, in the end, why you waited so long to begin the journey.

The first step in the journey is recognizing that you have a problem (i.e. your negative thoughts and/or behaviors). As the saying goes, denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. Until you recognize that your behaviors and/or thoughts aren’t benefiting you, then there will be no reason to change. So be open and honest with yourself.  Don’t believe the lie that there’s no hope.  There is hope.

The second step on the journey is recognizing that even though you have a problem that does not mean that you are a problem.  This thought alone can keep you trapped in the negative cycle. Let me say it again, even though you have a problem that does not mean that you are a problem. You are a beautiful and wonderful creation of God. Having a problem(s) (i.e. being imperfect) does not make you bad. Remember, “God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). That includes you. You are good.  You’re just imperfect like the rest of us.

The third step on the journey is giving yourself the gift of grace. Grace allows you the room to work through your issues lovingly, without the beast of condemnation squashing your hope. So many times we stay in a negative cycle of behavior and thought because we feel condemned and believe that we deserve a life of suffering. Not true. Christ came to give us life and give it more abundantly.  He wants you to live and experience the peace that surpasses understanding (Phillipians 4:7).

So come and partake of the peace.  The journey begins now.

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  • Meet Ylena

    Ylena Parks, a native Californian, is married to a godly man and has two beautiful step-children. She has a Master's in Community/Clinical Counseling from Eastern University and presently works as an MFT Intern at OC Chrisitan Counseling in Garden Grove, CA.

    Ylena came to Christ at Calvary Chapel-Monterey Bay in 2001. It is through Christ's work in her that she conquered a 10-year battle with Anorexia, a disorder which consumed her 20s and led her along a path of self-destruction ... and eventually into the arms of Christ.

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